Helping Highly Sensitive Introverts and Therapists create a life outside the box that allows them to embrace their Sensitive Strengths.
Transitions take longer when you’re a highly sensitive person born with a brain that’s wired with an automatic break to pause and reflect before you move from one thing to the next. There could be other contributing factors such as anxiety, ADHD, or illness, but those little urges to pause to think through a decision or to assess a scene before you step into the crowd, that’s your “behavioral inhibition system” in action.
The busyness of this time of year is overstimulating for HSPs and goes against the natural rhythm of introspection and hibernation. To feel more enjoyment, create space for quiet reflection, forgotten family traditions, sacred religious services or practices, holiday movies, or whatever brings you joy this time of year.
A highly sensitive person has more activity in parts of the brain that contribute to feelings of nostalgia. HSPs have a deep emotional connection to their memories and because we process information and experiences deeply, memories are more vivid and easier to recall. When you notice more subtle details, you’re able to pull up specific memories and the emotions that go along with them quickly.
Have you ever felt so angry that you wanted to scream or break something? Instead of being curious about where anger is coming from, HSPs often push away intense feelings of anger out of guilt or worry that they need to be kind and gentle. Anger is an important messenger and often shows up when we’re overstimulated, there’s an injustice, or boundaries are broken.
A common boundary strategy for HSPs is to amplify what you’re feeling or escalate the severity of your needs to be understood. Exaggerating a bit is a form of self-protection because it may feel safer saying no with an “excuse” - giving some compelling reason that justifies your need to the other person. It also saves you from hearing “it’s no big deal” or “you’re too sensitive”.
Being highly sensitive isn’t just about being overwhelmed, you also feel deep joy, happiness, and excitement over the little details. Are you suppressing your positive emotions to protect others? Is empathy getting in the way of being your true self?
Although it may feel like it, you are not doomed to feel constantly exhausted and overwhelmed as a highly sensitive person. Prioritizing rest and honoring your limits opens up the best parts of being more perceptive and deeply emotional.
As an HSP, you need to live for yourself and not follow someone else’s compass. It’s important to reflect on what you need to honor your sensitivity and how you’re sacrificing yourself to make others feel more comfortable at your expense.
Sensitive folks are constantly seeking a way to make work more manageable and meaningful without all the overwhelm and burnout that is common for HSPs. Work tends to be something to survive, instead of enjoy. Choosing a career is subjective, so it really depends on who you work with, the values of the company, the environment, how meaningful and interesting the work is to you, and your ability to maintain a work-life balance.
What might be available if you listened to your own needs more often? Less overwhelm, more energy, more joy and fulfillment, strong intuition, better sleep, less guilt. When you begin to recognize the value that your sensitivity brings, you can begin to access more of what your sensitivity has to offer and less of the burdens that come from living a non-HSP lifestyle.
Being misunderstood as a highly sensitive person is common because most people in your life don’t have the same type of attuned nervous system that you do or need the same amount of downtime and recharging. The solution is not to bend beyond your bandwidth, but to communicate your needs and experiences more clearly.
Highly Sensitive People often feel misunderstood, resentful and overwhelmed in relationships, so it’s important to find a balance of quiet downtime for yourself and meaningful shared experiences with your partner.
When you’re highly sensitive and feel everything deeply, it can be stressful and isolating. Others may question or criticize you for your “overblown” reactions. You then wander if you’re too emotional, fragile, or dramatic. Although it can be a burden at times, feeling this emotional is an asset in many ways.
Being more attuned to the slightest changes happening around you as a highly sensitive person, it can be a shock to your nervous system to quickly go from the hot, long, sunny days of Summer to cold days of Winter with little sunlight. The colder months are a time to recharge, a time to reflect, but as you lean into slowing down, be careful not to completely power off.
Major life changes such as moving, starting a new job, or getting into a new relationship are complex when you’re highly sensitive. You will feel so many layers of emotion such as excitement or grief, notice all the little details and nuances of your new situation, and need way more time to process it all.
Can’t fall asleep at night, finish tasks on time, or make decisions because your mind is too busy, spinning, and anxious. Overthinking can feel like torture and is most common for highly sensitive people when you’re not living in alignment with your sensitive needs. As an HSP, your brain is wired to pause and reflect. Although annoying or frustrating at times, there are amazing benefits
When you’ve been told your emotions and perceptions are wrong, you can’t help but begin to question yourself. Every instinct, feeling, thought becomes uncertain and confusing. Your feelings will often be different than others and you will often know things without knowing why. This is part of your gift of being born highly sensitive - more aware, intuitive, emotionally attuned to your environment and the people around you.
Being highly sensitive, you get access to experiences others don't have such as deep joy in the little moments, positive emotions at a heightened level, and blissful experiences. Trying to live life like a non-HSP blocks access to your deep thoughts and feelings, strong intuition, innovative ideas, abundant creativity, and healing empathy that only we can have.
Highly sensitive folks feel everything deeply and have emotions that seem bigger than the moment. Maybe you’ve been called dramatic, thought you were “too much”, or been accused of overreacting as a result. Learn about my experience of having a big emotional response and my process of realizing I wasn’t overreacting, just having a typical human/HSP experience.
As another year begins, you get flooded with messages about setting resolutions and making grand changes in your life. Starting this year on your own terms means honoring your needs as a Highly Sensitive Person to make changes more slowly and focus on self-reflection over resolutions. This approach frees you from the shame of incomplete resolutions and allows you to reconnect with what’s most important.
