Ditch the Overwhelm + Recapture the Meaning of the Holidays
When I was a little girl, I would wake up on Christmas morning and quietly tiptoe downstairs to see the tree all lit up with presents underneath. Instead of excitedly waking up the house to rip open the wrapping paper like most kids do, I would sit at the base of the tree soaking up the specialness of the scene, even at 6 years old. If that’s not an HSP moment, I don’t know what is!
Fast forward to my teenage years and my favorite part of the holidays was helping my grandmother wrap gifts for everyone in my family. Since she had arthritis her mobility was limited so I would happily run around wrapping and organizing gifts while she wrote out the tags. I can still picture the scene - Elvis playing on the radio and ceramic holiday decorations she made in the ‘70s on every table.
Those moments were simple, but incredibly meaningful to me - ones I still cherish and try to recapture to this day. Holidays for me were always less about receiving presents and more about enjoying family traditions and spending quality time with loved ones. Despite my rather chaotic upbringing, it was the one time of year that was peaceful and felt “normal” - making it even more important to me. I looked forward to the holidays every year and loved that indescribable feeling of reverence and magic that didn’t seem to exist at any other time.
Now that I’m an adult, the feeling of the holidays has shifted quite a bit. I find myself spending so much more time focusing on getting everything done - sending cards, getting gifts in the mail on time, attending gatherings, traveling - all while working and tending to my life. Those quiet, contemplative, simple moments have mostly been replaced by a to-do list.
Guilt, Perfectionism, and FOMO
As a highly sensitive person, it’s so easy to focus on putting together the perfect holiday experience for everyone else, making decisions out of guilt or fear of missing out, and sacrificing yourself to get ALL the things done.
Instead of getting to enjoy meaningful family traditions, personal rituals, or religious services that only happen this time of year, you end up feeling depleted and overwhelmed. With all the pressure and hard work, it’s also easy to feel disappointed when something doesn’t go as planned or resentful when your efforts aren’t appreciated.
Do Less, Enjoy More
It doesn’t have to be this way. What if you gave yourself permission to do less and were able to spend more time on what’s truly important to you about this season? Take some time to reflect back on your past experiences and what is the most meaningful part of the holidays. What could you prioritize and what could you let go of? Some ideas to help you create more space:
Attend just one or two holidays gatherings this season
Limit how long you spend at each gathering, say 1-2 hours max
If traveling, stay at a hotel instead of a family member’s house so you can get some much needed downtime
Decide not to travel this year at all
Skip hosting any parties
Ask for help with set up, cooking, and cleaning
Only send cards to your inner circle instead of everyone you know
Buy fewer gifts or give donations instead
Give yourself permission to prepare a simple holiday meal, buy pre-made items, or make the dinner a potluck
The busyness of this time of year is overstimulating, going against the natural rhythm of introspection and hibernation during the winter months. Giving yourself permission to slow down and go inward will actually allow you to soak up more enjoyment and connection instead of feeling depleted all season.
Create space for quiet reflection, forgotten family traditions, sacred religious services or practices, holiday movies, or whatever brings you joy this time of year. I’ll be quietly hand-writing a few cards to loved ones while I listen to Elvis, baking the pumpkin cookies my other grandmother made for me every year, and spending as much time as possible in contemplation mode.
