Are You Missing the Best Parts of Being Highly Sensitive?
I was recently invited by a trusted friend to a small Spring Equinox gathering that included dancing and a sharing circle. I have been to these types of events many times over the last 20 years or so, but the location and teacher were new to me. As you can imagine, this brought up a lot of curiosity and processing - what would it be like? who would be there? how will I feel?
To be honest, as the event got closer, I definitely thought about canceling and relaxing at home instead despite this being something that I often find deeply nourishing. Freeform or ecstatic dance was actually the first mindful, therapeutic practice I ever experienced. In my late teens/early 20s, way before I started going to therapy, discovered that I was highly sensitive, or knew anything about mental health, I would get lost in dance for hours (completely sober!). It was a way to release pent up emotions, reconnect with myself, and experience deep joy while being in community.
Being able to dance mindfully and meditatively is like medicine for me, so why would I think about staying home for this Spring Equinox event? That part of my HSP brain that pauses to reflect on a new situation was cautioning me against the unknown. What if this event is too structured or interactive, not allowing me the introspective experience I prefer when dancing? What if the teacher, participants, or event space doesn’t feel supportive and I end up feeling depleted afterward?
Having a pause feature in your HSP brain can make engaging in new activities or familiar activities in new places challenging. On the other hand, being able to process ahead of time is helpful and creates an opportunity to check in with your energy levels, boundaries, and intuition to make sure you’re doing what feels aligned with your values.
Navigating the Unknown
In this situation, I checked in and realized that I was excited to attend and made a plan to navigate the unknowns. Here are a few suggestions if you find yourself in a similar situation:
Research the location, ask who will be attending, and find out any other details that you need to feel comfortable. You could visit the website, look at the online street view/map, or drive by the venue.
If you’re feeling socially nervous, bring a trusted person along to attend with you or ask someone to be available for support via text or phone call.
Use historical evidence and ask yourself: how have these types of events been for me in the past?
Check your values and gut: does this feel aligned? do I have the energy to engage?
Plan an escape hatch if something doesn’t feel right once you arrive. Put a limit on the amount of time you’ll attend and let others know you may need to leave early.
Have something to look forward to after the event such as getting some quiet downtime, eating your favorite meal, watching a movie, or taking a relaxing bath.
Too Much and Not Enough
When you’re highly sensitive, there is often so much focus put on the challenges and limitations of being born with the trait and feeling everything so deeply. Every HSP I know has been called too much of this or not enough of that. You could perceive the above process of considering whether to attend an event a challenge or you could reframe it as being intentional and discerning.
The Best Part of Being Highly Sensitive
Let’s not forget about the best part of being an HSP - the deep joy in the little things, getting to experience your positive emotions at a heightened level, and feeling bliss and euphoria from spiritual practices, nature, art, dance, music, and so on. In my experience, this trait gives us access to what others may never experience or only feel with the aid of psychedelics.
What helped me move through my urge to cancel going to the Spring Equinox event was downtime to reflect and comfort in knowing I had space to recharge afterward. If that wasn’t the case, I probably wouldn’t have risked going to something new and possibly needing to recover afterward. I’m so grateful I did attend because I am still feeling the positive effects days later. I feel emotionally lighter, more physically relaxed, and mentally clear.
Living Like a Non-HSP
This conversation makes me think about the ways we miss out or deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the best parts of having this trait. Trying to live life like a non-HSP, staying busy and not getting enough downtime, constantly overwhelmed as a result, and feeling depleted all the time is such a sacrifice. It blocks access to those deep thoughts and feelings, strong intuition, innovative ideas, abundant creativity, and healing empathy that only we can have.
What gets in your way of accessing the best parts of being highly sensitive and experiencing deep nourishment, joy, and fulfillment? Being highly sensitive comes with this gift, don’t miss it.
