Moving Past Self-Doubt as an HSP and Trusting Yourself Again
Growing up did anyone ever say “you’re exaggerating”, “it’s not a big deal”, “you don’t really feel that way”, or some other version of that? Even when they mean well, adults often dismiss the experiences of a highly sensitive child. This is not on purpose, it’s just that your view is so unlike their own or seeing that sensitive part of themselves in you is uncomfortable so they push it away.
Adults often think they’re being helpful in downplaying your emotions or worries, but inadvertently they’re sending you the message that what you are experiencing is wrong or unacceptable. It doesn’t matter why your experiences were dismissed, ignored, misunderstood, or maybe even criticized, the impact is still the same - self-doubt, self-criticism, and probably some anxiety.
Losing Trust in Yourself
When you’ve been told your very palpable internal experience is wrong, you can’t help but begin to question yourself. Every instinct, feeling, thought becomes uncertain and confusing. Even if later in life you realize that the adults surrounding you were wrong, the seed of doubt has already been planted and becomes part of your inner monologue. A pesky weed in your internal landscape getting in the way of trusting yourself and honoring your very valid emotional experiences.
For me, I grew up with a stepmother who was very opinionated and often dictated what others should be feeling or doing. The highly perceptive, emotionally attuned parts of me had no room to grow and be nurtured so I hid them away. I began looking outward for cues when deciding how I felt and what to do to fit in. Sadly, I lost connection with my inner compass for many years.
Stuck in the Difficulty of Being an HSP
Feeling deeply and being more perceptive makes HSPs strong decision makers, accurate judges of character and situations, and very self-aware. When you doubt yourself, you unfortunately lose access to all these gifts. What’s left is overthinking and overwhelm - the more difficult parts of being highly sensitive.
All hope is not lost though because you can reclaim your sensitive gifts that you tucked away and feel the safety of being guided by your inner compass again. As an adult, I’ve had to consciously work on trusting myself and have found a way back to myself, but it has taken time.
What helped me find my way back was a mixture of self-reflection, therapy, meditation, and patience. Essentially different ways of spending time with myself and getting reacquainted with my inner landscape (thoughts, feelings, instincts, sensations).
Healing From Self-Doubt
If you’re also healing from self-doubt, start slowly by spending a few minutes every day sitting quietly with your thoughts. You can try a journaling practice (Morning Pages can be a good place to start), work on creative projects, go for solo walks, meditate, or simply stare out the window.
As you’re listening in, think about decisions you have to make or your views on experiences you’ve had recently. Notice what comes up and the quality of the thoughts, feelings, and sensations happening within. If your internal response is loud, fearful, and intense - you’re in a place of anxiety and doubt.
Take a moment to soothe yourself and then see if you can look even closer to what’s underneath the noise, the worry about what others think, and the pressure to be any particular way. When you reach your intuition and true voice, it will be quiet, certain, and subtle. From here, ask yourself:
What would it be like to allow that subtle voice to guide an upcoming decision or opinion?
When I’ve heard this voice before, did I listen? Why or why not?
In the past, what has been the outcome of either listening or ignoring my inner compass?
Just like when you were a child, your feelings will often be different than others and you will often know things without knowing why. This is part of your gift of being born highly sensitive - more aware, intuitive, emotionally attuned to your environment and the people around you. You have access to more nuance and information than others do. Even when they don’t understand, remember that your experience is still valid. It’s more than valid, it’s full of insight and wisdom. Trust yourself.
Trusting Your Intuition Again
To dive deeper into this topic, join me for the next Sensitive Session workshop. You’ll learn practices to reconnect with your inner wisdom, separate intuition from anxiety, and trust your gut when making decisions.
In addition to being able to attend live, you’ll get the workshop recording and a workbook which includes steps to increase intuitive decision making, an anxiety vs. intuition quiz, and guidance to increase trust in your intuition. Click here for more details and to sign up.
