You’re Not Overreacting: Embracing Your Big Feelings as a Highly Sensitive Person
When you were a little HSP, did you ever get really upset over something others thought was “no big deal”? Here’s how that might have shown up… There you were absolutely gutted because the special treat you were so excited about dropped on the ground and you couldn’t eat it. Your teacher, thinking she was helping, offered some other snacks you could eat instead, but you had your heart set on a delicious chocolate cupcake with rainbow sprinkles. This special treat was one you only got on special occasions, the one that has all these special memories attached, the one you were anticipating getting to have all week.
You’re Not a Crybaby
She just didn’t understand why you were so upset. This wasn’t just a minor frustration, you felt deep disappointment and couldn’t help but start to cry. Some of the kids in your class laughed and called you a “crybaby” when they noticed you were tearing up. Then you felt deep embarrassment on top of your disappointment and cried even harder. This wasn’t the last time you would feel terrible for what others would brush off as a minor inconvenience.
Flash forward to when your supervisor offered some constructive feedback about a new project you were working on. You felt so bad for making a mistake you weren’t able to hear that they were trying to be helpful, not critical. This time you didn’t cry right away, but quickly went to the bathroom to let out your tears. There was also that time you forgot a friend’s birthday and felt so guilty for weeks after that you kept apologizing every time you saw them. Your friend understood you had a lot going on at the time and easily forgave you, but you struggled to forgive yourself.
Feeling Deeply: Burden and Asset
When you’re highly sensitive and feel everything deeply, it can feel isolating. Others don’t understand your capacity for emotion, they may even question or criticize you for your “overblown” reactions. You then question and criticize yourself - why am I so emotional? Fragile? Dramatic? You aren’t, dear HSP. Feeling deeply, although it can be a burden at times, is also an asset in many ways. Emotions help you make clear decisions, create connections, know when to set boundaries, strengthen intuition, keep you safe, and make life more rich.
For example, just this morning I was heading to an appointment, enjoying the drive. To keep me company, I put on some music from a band whose concerts I’ve attended at least a dozen times. As the music played, I was getting little glimpses of memories from the last concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Colorado. If you’ve been, you know what a magical place it is. Immediately I felt all those good feelings from the concert rush in and I started crying tears of joy. On the surface, I was simply driving on a route I take all the time, listening to a song I’ve heard a hundred times before. Nothing remarkable, but inside I was feeling moved and inspired. That’s the beauty of feeling deeply as an HSP, being able to soak up so much from a simple moment.
Special Moments Are Even Brighter
Take that ability and apply it to those times of life that are remarkable such as falling in love, meeting a newborn baby for the first time, being in blissful meditation, or standing underneath a canopy of redwood trees or by the ocean. Those remarkable moments then become euphoric, life changing experiences for a highly sensitive person. Feeling so deeply encompasses the full range of emotion, not just the difficult ones.
Support to Embrace Your Big Feelings
For more support, join me for the next Sensitive Session workshop on Embracing Big Feelings. Instead of trying to hide away your feelings, begin to transform this burden into an asset with coping tools and self-compassion practices. You'll understand why your emotions are valid and valuable.
Includes a 20-page digital workbook with journaling prompts, an emotions map, and scripts for responding to those "you're too emotional" comments.
Sign up here to attend live or watch the recording.
