The Highs and Lows of Moving as an HSP
Back in July, I moved from a 300 square foot tiny house to a 1200 square foot/3-bedroom house, a major transition for this HSP! As you can imagine, moving a tiny house doesn’t involve a lot of furniture or a large volume of boxes so the move itself was straight-forward and only took a few hours.
Even though the moving process from one house to the other was easy, living in a new space is a big adjustment and I’m still processing this change a few months later, as most highly sensitive folks will understand. Navigating a new city takes a lot of effort and creates a lot of sensory overstimulation and emotional experiences to process.
There are significant perks to leaving the tiny house such as having a dedicated office space without distractions and a private backyard where I can peacefully unwind. There are also times that being in this new space feels overwhelming because every moment is different than it used to be - from getting the mail to brushing my teeth to cooking dinner to waking up in the morning.
Navigating Your New Normal
Just as I talk about seasonal changes being a lot for an HSP to adjust to because of the different light and temperature throughout the day, it’s even more extreme when you move to a new home. At each moment, you are thinking through how to do something in this space and your nervous system is picking up and tracking all the details of the new environment. There’s a lot of mental energy being used up just by doing everyday tasks, which will impact your capacity for managing emotions and stress that arise.
When family and friends ask how I'm settling into the new house, I tell them it’s going great because on the surface it is. Boxes are all unpacked, furniture has been bought, and I really love the new space, but if you look a little closer it’s definitely a more complex story.
For example, this house makes different sounds so sometimes I get startled by the “settling” noises, the neighbor’s dog barking, or my wife coming home through the garage door. In the tiny house, I could always see the whole house wherever I was so it’s an adjustment to be in a bigger space with unfamiliar sounds and surprises.
When Everything is Unfamiliar
Whenever I need to run simple errands like going to the grocery store or stopping by the post office, it takes extra energy to think about where I’m going and research how to get there. Nothing is automatic yet.
Would I even be an HSP if I wasn’t having an existential moment about what it means to live here?! Being in the tiny house, which my wife and I designed (and she mostly built) was part of my identity. Who am I living in a bigger house? Does it match my values? Is it extravagant or essential?
You may have had similar sensory, emotional, or existential experiences when going through a move or another type of milestone such as starting a new job, dating a new person, having a baby, or getting a pet. Changes are complex when you’re highly sensitive. You will feel so many layers of emotion, notice all the little details and nuances of your new situation, and need way more time to process it all!
Excitement Is Bittersweet
When you’re making a big life change or going through a smaller adjustment, give yourself more time to settle in. It makes sense if you feel “off” for a while, not like yourself, or aren’t as happy as you think you should be or others expect you to be. You may also feel more tired, sad, irritable, blissful, anxious, or unsettled as you adjust to your new normal.
Welcoming in something new also means letting go of something old, so you may feel a complex mixture of excitement and grief all at once. That makes sense! Give yourself time to feel it all and space to transition into this new chapter.
